Uhm... this week is the last week for the people from grade 13. I'll miss them, honestly. I haven't talked to them all in ages. after my fight with one of them, i barely had any contact to any of them. that makes me really sad and now that tomorrow is their last day, I'm quite depressed because of that. I'll probably never see them again, and I never talked to her about everything that happened - though I really wanted to. I never wanted to fight, I never wanted it to turn out like it did. And I'm getting more and more aware of the fact that I won't ever be able to at least try to solve this all. it hurt me so much... and I think it hurt her as well. i dunno, because we didn't talk, buti do think she was hurt as well. and im so sorry for everything wrong i might have done. I don't want them all to leave without having this solved, but i seriously dunno how to... I can't just walk straight up to her and be like "hey, let's talk" and especially not on her last day of school, I mean, it should be a happy day, right? *sigh* I really don't know what to do. Dear God, why did you make me of all people this socially awkward?
I even wrote a letter yesterday and printed it. I was carrying it around with me all day, reading it all over again and again... She will never get to read this letter anyways so whatever. yea.
Anyways, this depressive mood I'm in made me stop listening to Jedward and J-Rock and stuff for a while. now i'm back to black, basically.
basically been listening to these all day long, and nothing else. *sigh* but it actually feels good to just listen do stuff like that again. I feel a little less weird. I just have such a weird taste in music, seriously.