First things first, because I really gotta get this out there now: It's utterly funny how people always seem to assume that I am fine, mentally. Because I am not. I try to be optimistic and happy most of the times, just so people leave me alone at least- I don't want to talk about what makes me feel awful, I don't want to show it, I don't want to bother others, that's why I usually tell everyone that it's alright and okay.
I feel like people think that I'm okay because I just don't show that I'm not.
Please sometimes, now and then, take care of my feelings as well.
Okay, on to the actual blog entry~ :D
First of all I got a new winter coat, finally!I'm not into my old jackets anymore and it's soooo cold, stiland it's a Vero Moda coat which was on sale! Awesome!
(It's not really visible but it's more a deep red than brown, it looks more brown here.)
On friiiiiday was my last day of school before spring break! \(^_^)/
2 weeks of not doing anything at all now! Yieeeeha! :D
AND on top of it; Jasmin and I went partying!
To the 'Riff' in Bochum!
I look creepy when I smile^^
It was hmmm... both nice and not so nice. The small hall had charts/pop music, which was pretty bad most of the times (it's NOT 2003 anymore. get it in your heads, dj's!)
but also funny - though this hall was too small for all the people in it!
The big hall apparently Indie in it, but in my opinion it was either Pop or Rock at times
(There was a time they played old Linkin Park, Sysdem of a down, Limp Bizkit and Papa Roach right after each other, AWESOME! I enjoyed it so much!)
But still, it was... a bit crappy, I guess...
It's definately not going to be a club I like to be, I think, though it's okay to go there once a while since it's free entry on fridays before midnight! Ha!
(most entertaining thing of that evening: Darrell that kept reminding me not to flirt with random guys and telling me he'd be awake in case anything happens - but being asleep not even 5 minutes after I exited the club. :D)
On Saturday I had a nice big breakfast with mommy, who finally FINALLY brought some food (have been alone at home without food to make snacks for too long!)
And we discussed a lot about what to do that day.
It's been a bit sad that Krissi didn't have time for our planned DSDS marathon (since I missed like, the last 7 episodes? oO) and she also didn't have time for the Liveshow of this day :((
So, Mom and I decided to go to the Cinema!
We watched Hänsel & Gretel - Witchhunters and I loveeeed it!
It was funny, but still mysterious and full of fantasy and blood and mom liked it as well! :)
Mom and I are currently watching the show Grimm on TV, which is about fairytales as well, so we quickly agreed on watching this movie, and it truely found our liking!
Also, the 3D effects were AWESOME! It was great, really.
The last time i was in the cinema I saw Alice in Wonderland, and I'm sure this was some new 3D technique, which was pretty cool.
After the movie, mom took me to Bochum's central station, from where I'd take the subway to Marcel's place.
I found out Marcel apparently read my last blog entry, and at this point I want to apoligize for saying 'the other guy'. As you probably noticed it wasn't my best blog post concerning my formulation, and I wasn't sure if I should write your name or not. But since I wrote the others names as well... I shouldn't have written that, Sorry! :)
A bit later, we then were driven to the Untergrund~
Hmmmm... quite a lot happened there, and I'm not very keen on writing it up in detail. usually i would write about guy1 and 2 and girl 1 and me and explain it like that, but since apparently people are not okay with being called "the other guy", for example, and since it's obvious who it is about and it is private after all, I'll let it be, just so much
I felt like shit afterwards (◕‿◕✿)
I was left alone and forgotten at the club ヽ(●ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ●)ﾉﾟ
No one said goodbye~
When I came home it was 7am, I was the only person in town, litterally, and it was cold as fuck D:
Not a very good night indeed.
I'm really really happy that many things apparently were solved today.
It's horrible for me if people fight, and especially when it's people I care for.
DON'T DO THAT!
But then again something nice happend as well~ But I won't write it~ or should I?
I think my last blog entry was a bit weird, so, sorry for that :D
I've wanted to post these pictures for a while now since I already tried this at the end of february, but due to the (FINALLY!) completely edited and uploaded Cryptic Lane photos and the pics i took at my cousin's 18th birthday (which I also FINALLY put up on dropbox 2 days ago, god bless!) I'm lagging behind a bit (A BIT? oh well, spring break starts tomorrow. If I don't get that shit done in the two weeks ....)
That are some of the pictures I was talking about~
I think it's called short-term-photography in english (idk though, just translating XD)
Some other pictures will be on my facebook in the next few days!
I really like the results of what I was doing, though I pretty much had no clue what I was doing :)
Last weekend, march 8th and 9th, i spend some time with my lovely cousin Mary (who, for sure, has already been mentioned in this blog somewhere because I just love her so much *_*) because it was finally time for her 18th birthday, wheeee~
for a long, long time, I haven't felt this fabulous!
I had a great and fun time! My youngest cousin Lilly wore the same dress I did, we looked so nice together ♥
I'm fabulous :D
As well as last weekend, this one was also pretty awesome!
On friday I met with some friends from my school at home & basically transformed the kitchen into a little lounge with pillows and blankets all around and a star lamp (you know, these christmas paper lamps in star form? ) from the ceiling i have put up and we had dinner and cake and played (never ever play 'nervous'. I GOT SCARS NOW! ; n ;
my pretty hands.... xD)
And well on Saturday, once again I went to the library in Bochum & in the evening met up with my besties Jasmin & Carli at Jasmins place to drink something and later go to the untergrund again :3
(I drank way too much again. And once again the bus trip was awful. welp.)
But well it was "Rocken" which means they played loads of rock songs and it was awesome there! I had so much fun (though they also played loads of pop and that was a tiny bit annoying, but STILL - first time i danced there haha :D)
There's even a picture of us three from that night on facebook! :)
(I actually thought I was sitting totally straight when the pic was taken, and now i realize i was basically lying on Carla. uhm....)
Later we were also joind by a friend from Jasmin I already met in the Matrix last month and the two boys from the weekend 2 weeks ago as well~
It might've been a bit awkward though I was drunk, because I still am just socially awkward, but still i thought it was pretty nice, i guess :)
At about.. 4 am i think (?) Darrell and i left the club to get the last train to his place, but missed it (BY 5 DAMN MINUTES!) So we texted Jasmin to ask the other one to give us the keys to his apartment since we needed to stay just somewhere :'D
( I NEARLY GOT HIT BY THE GODDAMN KEYS!)
Darrell said that they way there isn't long but it was in fact. and it was raining. But we did arrive in the end and went to bed, and when we had just laid down - The other three joined us~ anyways, everybody was asleep by about 5 am, while i was still awake till 7.
(Oh, right, i also wanted to blog about my insomnia someday, right? well, the tea and the baldrian pills never helped, so im just gonna get some sleeping pills soon, i just want to have some proper sleep from time to time. Like I'm always DEAD tired when i go to bed and i STILL can't sleep, and if i sleep i apparently scratch myself to the point of bleeding sometimes. like, wow.)
In the end I woke up again at 9, said bye bye to carla after i googled her way home, and then slept for another hour or so... i tried sleeping again but only fell asleep for 5-10 minutes at a time, then woke up again.
Finally at like 2, i noticed that Marcel was awake and Darrell woke up as well and we had breakfast (while Jasmin slept on for HOURS- she really didn't feel well :/) and watched Breaking bad.
I was really happy when i finally got home and took a hot shower and get in some comfy clothes (it was so cold that night that i HAD to sleep in my jacket and jeans -.-)
But even though there were some... weird situations, it was funny, and I enjoyed it so much, I'd repeat it any time (if only i wasn't this poor.... no partying anymore this month, i guess~)
It was not really planned in advance, but on thursday Jasmin already asked me if I'd come to the club 'Untergrund' in Bochum with her~ and I said yes! (Mostly because I could get free entry if I go there in a 90ties outfit.... and I'm a poor poor child so I'd probably do anything to have free entry :'))
I did feel a bit ridiculous but I did kinda like my outfit as it was :D
It was kinda fun, we first drank at Jasmin's place- until we missed the last bus (WE GENIUSES! XD) isthatevenenglishidk but her mom then took us to Bochum, where we met a friend of Jasmin and his friend and then there were 4 of us! Yay!
(Unfortunately I drank a bit too much so I was trying not to fall over or puke most of the time at the beginning, which was embarrassing as fuck and really no fun) BUT it was better later :')
I didn't really dance much, probably because of the drunkness?
I just sat around bobbing my head like a retard mumbling 90ties songs haha :D
The only thing that was not so nice was that I had to get home alone somehow at like 4 am, which meant being all alone on the subway and bus from Bochum to Herne and Herne to Castrop. I don't usually mind walking around at night all alone, but since I drank so much that was so creepy o:
The next day I went to the University Library in Bochum with Lou, and I basically sat there for like 5 hours reading the best book I could've chosen for my essay about Henry VIII - I'll go there again next sunday to read, and I'll probably spend so many sundays there in the future, it's such a nice place, it's quiet, and they have just sooo many old books and it smells like Books everywhere, I fell in love with that place <3
On my way home from Bochum I got a text from Jasmin saying "YOU WON! OMG YOU WON!" - I won free entry into the Untergrund (once again! Yay!)
So the same night Jasmin and I went there again! And we met the guys from the night before again, this time by coincidence though :D
(And I got flirted at by? at? idk? well someone flirted w/me anyways -by a girl. In the girls toilets. And what a great topic to flirt she choose; the kinda perverted quite penis shaped soap. Uhm....) Like I don't have a problem with homosexuals, I support them, but it was awkward nonetheless - but then again it's also awkward when a guy flirts with me cuz they just usually don't so.... :D
I look like a child. Can you believe I'm 19? Because I can't, wow....
I know I know, it's march - and actually it's time for the first march baking challenge post - but there won't be one! I did bake today, a nice cute apple pie, but i wasn't able to take a picture - it was eaten before I could! ( Though I think I have a pic on my phone - but I'm lazy XD)
Anyways, here are last weeks cupcakes!
Up until now, from all cupcakes i made, these were the most loved ones - i had many people in class try it, a few guys and some girls, and they LOVED it!